butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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