Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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