i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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