I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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