She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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