I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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