Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
