i will never coherently bang her
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
