God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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