Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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