hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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