Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
