I bet he comes in French.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
