I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
