Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
smell my finger.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
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No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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