i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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