no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
