I am in a vortex of obligation.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
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My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
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Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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