I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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