but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
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I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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