hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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