I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
