if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Your cock deserves a montage
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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