I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
