My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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