if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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