my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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