I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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