he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
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Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
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Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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