Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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