all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
