he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
