I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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