Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
