So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
