STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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