I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
