It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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