I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
