They should really pass out barf bags in church
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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