I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
