the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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