Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have feelings that need drinking.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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