Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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