some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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