it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
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I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
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I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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