I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
