I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Fuck me I smell like cheese
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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