Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
