been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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