I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
