How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
