so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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