Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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