To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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