I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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