Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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