I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
you never un-have a 4some
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize