Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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