after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize