there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
