i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
